At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
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