Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
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