okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
