My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
