Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Randomize
