I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
