We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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