No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
