Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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