I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
