physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Randomize