when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
