its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
