Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize