Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
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