That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Randomize
