Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
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