I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
