you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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