I just made out with a guy for $7.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
