She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize