Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize