Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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