You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Randomize
