How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize