There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Randomize
