I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
In America we eat man semen.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
