Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
she told me i tasted like america
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
