come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
