Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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