You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
