he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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