Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
