I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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