Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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