girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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