yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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