Yo dont text me then not text me
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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