My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
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