Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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