i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
