Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
