thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
you never un-have a 4some
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
