he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Just high enough for therapy.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
