Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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