We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize