who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Randomize
