No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
