wrigley field is MILF paradise
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
