I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
