the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
