I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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