I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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