My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Randomize
