The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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