It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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