Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
