new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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