I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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