Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
