i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
