Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
