This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
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