Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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