She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
